Kingfisher Soul Mending

An 11-week journey and 3-day retreat for men, from Kingfisher Soulmending

Most of us were never taught how to be close to another person and stay honest while doing it. We learned to manage, perform, provide, and protect. We learned to go quiet, or to over-explain, when the truth felt risky. Reclaiming Eros is a guided path back to the body, to the parts of us that run our relationships, and to the kind of intimacy that can hold real truth.

Over eleven weekly sessions and a closing three-day retreat, we work with Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic practice, and shamanic ceremony. We practice vulnerability at a pace your nervous system can handle, and we build the skills that make intimacy last: safety, consent, desire, repair, and the courage to stay present with each other.

 This is a container for gay, bi, and queer men who want more honesty, tenderness, and aliveness in their relationships, whether partnered, single, or in transition, and whether monogamous or non-monogamous. Many of us learned to love in a world that didn’t make room for us, so we became skilled at hiding, performing, and protecting. This work is built for that experience. You don’t need prior experience with IFS, ceremony, or group work. You need a willingness to be curious about yourself. 

• Identity and the adapted self. Notice who actually shows up in intimacy, the protector, the performer, or the wounded child, and learn to tell the self you built to survive from the self underneath.
• Parts work (IFS). Meet the protectors and exiles that shape how you love, and practice leading from Self: calm, curious, and compassionate.
• Courageous vulnerability. Learn to dose vulnerability to your capacity, so it becomes a skill and not a gamble. Build shame resilience and the ability to tell the truth without collapsing or attacking.
• Attachment and security. Use tools to move from activation to connection, whatever shape your relationships take.
• Desire and consent. Reclaim eros from old programming and old pain, at a pace your body can say yes to.
• Repair and accountability. Learn to come back after rupture with a clear, adult process: name it, own it, ask for repair, renegotiate.
• The body as information. Learn how lovingly hold grief, rage, and stress that lives in the body, and begin treating tension, shutdown, and symptoms as messages rather than problems.
• The Four-Fold Way. Integrate heart, mind, body, and spirit through the Warrior, Healer, Visionary, and Teacher.

Weeks 1–3: Identity. Who shows up in love, the difference between your authentic and adapted self, and the archetypes you lead with.

Weeks 4–6: Connection and courage. Attachment and repair, vulnerability with boundaries, and desire free of performance.

Weeks 7–9: Truth and repair. Accountability without shame spirals, grief, rage, and freeze, and the ethics of honest relating.

Weeks 10–11: Integration. Becoming Self-led in love, and building your personal intimacy plan: your triggers, parts, boundaries, repair scripts, and consent practices.

Each session blends grounding, teaching, somatic and IFS practice, relational exercises, and a ceremonial opening and closing that mark the circle as a container.

The course culminates in a three-day intensive (Friday through Sunday): protector and exile work, truth-telling, a night of ceremony, grief completion, and a closing blessing. You leave with a written intimacy plan and a 30-day practice plan to carry the work home.

StartTuesday, January 5, 2027

Weekly sessionsTuesdays, 6:30–9:30 PM (11 weeks)

RetreatMarch 26–28, 2027

Location[TBD]

Investment$1,250 per person; payment options available

Group sizeLimited to 12 men

FacilitatorsJason Farmer and Stuart Calef 

Register:https://forms.gle/MQEtmjeqkihyBCwi8
Questions: JMFUnlimited@gmail.com · 206-326-0894